Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
