its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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