kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
