Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
