she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
