I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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