i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
