CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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