What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
