spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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