we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
