I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
