let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
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i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
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He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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