butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
