just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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