I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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