I think I am morally bankrupt
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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