You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
