so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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