ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
