He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
