you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
