I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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