i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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