evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
they're like a gay fantastic four
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
