A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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