I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm both gender and math confused
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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