You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
