I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
