oh god the rape fog is back!
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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