If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
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Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
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NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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