I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize