This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.