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After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
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