none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My sheets look like a crime scene.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.