i'm signing you up for texting rehab
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
