Jerry, you need to find god
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
