Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
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