you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
