I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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