How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
