That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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