I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
