she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Is it because I queefed?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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