Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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