I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
