Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just high enough for therapy.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
