So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
