He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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