He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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