remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
