Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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