Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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