My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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