Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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