just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
