this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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