Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
